Bars, Coffee Shops, Yoga Studios, and LGBTQIA2S+ Choirs as Sanctuaries for LGBTQIA2S+ People

To be human is to desire to be in community with others. Close, personal relationships are part and parcel of being human. We were created to be in community with one another, starting with the families in which we were born into, to the series of relationships we celebrate for the rest of our lives, to the moment of our death. One of the constants in life is community. I especially think that we are drawn to communities-of-meaning, communities that tell us who and whose we are.

As a Christian theologian and pastor, I would add that it appears that, according to some, being a part of a religious or faith-based community also seems part and parcel of being human. A church is a community-of-meaning, telling us who and whose we are. The educator Howard Gardner, in his research on multiple intelligences, thought that "spirituality" was a kind of intelligence, but settled on "nature" as a kind of last intelligence that he focused on in his work.

If this is true, then LGBTQIA2S+ people also have a need for communities-of-meaning. And it has been my experience that LGBTQIA2S+ desire community that is sacred and holy, with a depth and breadth and height to them that surpasses human understanding, yet known best in intimate, vulnerable relationship with others who hold that same hope in being in community.

What makes this difficult is that many religious communities, such as a church, mosque, synagogue, or temple, may not be "open and welcoming" of LGBTQIA2S+ people. I am not saying anything new here.

Nor am I saying or writing anything new with this insight because I said this, and keep saying it, for years, especially in my advocacy work with LGBTQIA2S+ people in church settings: We desire community that nurtures us, challenges us, comforts us, and is our primary source of well-being. Sadly, some churches, mosques, temples, and synagogues do not offer such sanctuary. Therefore, we've had to step out and find or create our own primary communities of support.  We have had to create our own sanctuaries. 

LGBTQIA2S+ people have taken up going to bars and coffee shops in the evening or during the days where they find other LGBTQIA2S+ and non-LGBTQIA2S+ people hanging out. Others go to a yoga studio with LGBTQIA2S+ people to hang out with, while still others join gay men's or lesbian women's or mixed LGBTQIA2S+ choirs. These groups offer what we all yearn for: sanctuary. We all desire a place of refuge and protection, closeness and comfort, free from struggle and hate, and offering love. 

This was the essence of the article by religionnews.com reporter Kathyn Post in her article, "Queer Bars Offer Sacred Space for LGBTQ Community." In this article, Post explore the various venues that LGBTQIA2S+ have found that offer them what institutional religious communities can't: sanctuary. Rest. Identity. A place to be them/ourselves. Said musician Trey Pearson, "I experienced that genuine, authentic love in gay bars more than I'd ever experienced it growing up in the four walls of the church."  

Here's a link to the article: https://religionnews.com/2023/01/23/queer-bars-offer-sacred-space-for-lgbtq-community/

And here’s the thing: if and when churches open up to LGBTQIA2S+ people, at least in theory, please, dear church, don’t be surprised when LGBTQIA2S+ people don’t rush to church. Generations of LGBTQIA2S+ have left now left religious communities, and aren’t coming back. They have found or created other communities-of-meaning.

My hope is that we all find or create communities of meaning that anchor us, give us hope, and provide the love and nurture we all desire.

May it be so.