Are You a Gay Pastor? Or a Pastor Who Happens to be Gay?

The question that about stopped an interview with a Presbyterian Church (USA) congregation I was seriously considering recently was this: "Are you a gay pastor? Or are you a pastor who happens to be gay?" I knew what they were asking. "I'm a pastor who happens to be gay," I said. "Good," said the voice on the Zoom interview. And the one who asked the question smiled. I was a good gay man. I answered the question correctly...for them.

Actually, that was the wrong answer on my part. But I froze. I played it safe. I knew what was implied in the question. I got nervous. I didn't want to lose the job right then and there, though I should've hung up on the Zoom connection immediately. The red "Leaving Meeting" button was right there. I should have hit it, and hit it hard.

I said what they wanted me to say in this binary set-up, when I should have responded "yes. Yes, I'm a gay pastor and a pastor who happens to be gay." 

To say, "I'm a gay pastor," means that I will talk a lot about LGBTQIA+ issues. And I will. Alongside with non-LGBTQIA+ examples in a sermon, I will preach sermons with LGBTQIA+ examples as well. A lot of them. And there will be sermons in which I won't touch the issue, because it isn't pertinent to the sermon. Those are the days I'm a pastor who happens to be gay.

And I will kiss my partner when I step out of the pulpit or step off the raised platform. Then, I will a "gay pastor" again. 

Are you ready for that, O Church?

I don't think so.

The church's interviewing team (we call them Pastor Nominating Committee or PNC for short) wanted me to be the pastor who happens to be gay. I'm safer that way, and not the (radical) gay pastor, LGBTQIA+ agenda in hand, rainbow stole and all. 

It got me to thinking, right after the interview was over. Did they ask the straight, cisgender, white pastor they hired, "Are you a straight, white, cisgender, male, 70-year-old pastor? Or a pastor who happens to be straight, white, cisgender, 70-year-old man?"

Would they have asked Martin Luther King, Jr., "Are you a Black pastor, or a pastor who happens to be Black?" 

Would they have asked any of my women colleagues," Are you a woman pastor, or a pastor who happens to be a woman?"

Would they have asked my Hispanic colleagues, "Are you a Hispanic pastor, or a pastor who happens to be Hispanic?" 

Would they have asked my colleague who lives with a disability, "Are you a pastor with a disability, or a disabled pastor (with no "person first language")?"

No.

I doubt they would have asked those questions to any of these last five examples. It would've been considered "politically incorrect." Our liberal, progressive churches want to be seen and heard as "politically correct," at least in speech acts, but not necessarily in actions themselves.

"Are you a gay pastor, or a pastor who happens to be gay?" 

Yes, I am.

In hindsight, this was the wrong church for me, and the Spirit knew it. 

The Church has a lot of work to do with out-LGBTQIA+ candidates for pastoral positions, as well as learning what it means to have an out LGBTQIA+ pastor in the pulpit. A lot of work.

Signed, Brett, an openly gay Presbyterian pastor in the state of Oregon.

Comments

  1. Michael BarhamMarch 23, 2021 at 12:42 AM

    You are more and more you, answering incarnationally Mary Oliver’s question about what you will do with your one, wild, precious life; glorifying God by being the being fully alive (Michael B).

    ReplyDelete

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